Eyes always hide secrets, the people within the Organization all possess more or less unrevealable mysteries, making them all extremely sensitive to glances. In the fringes of society where a gaze is equated to an invasion, eye contact is a luxury in any kind of relationship.
Greetings, food, care, hugs.. he could ignore any abnormality. In this romance, Scotland was an actor who had been specially invited to perform; as long as Scotland was satisfied with his own performance, he could accept whatever form it took, because the two of them were fake to begin with.
But he and Scotland would not frequently lock eyes.
When he turned his head, Scotland happened to be looking at him as well.
Unless it was a mission target, it was impractical to focus on someone's gaze fixed on Scotland, especially since that gaze was directed at him.
They were not an ordinary couple; defensiveness and vigilance were irreversible aspects of their lives. Perhaps there were people Scotland could trust completely, perhaps one day Scotland would place his ultimate trust in someone, but that person certainly would not be him.
All this time, Scotland had only looked at him directly, without even a hint of avoidance, in one specific situation.
Aotsuki stood up. "There is no need to discuss this further."
He could not bring himself to blame the person before him. Having reached this stage in the Organization, he understood better than anyone that the person most likely had no other choice, that the true culprit was someone else, but that was as far as it went.
Wait, Yamawashi!
The chair legs scraped against the floor, making a short, piercing sound, the young man who stood up immediately after said in a voice and tone identical to Scotland's, "This definitely isn't what you.."
“There will be a mission soon,” Aotsuki interrupted. The combination of that familiar voice and unfamiliar tone made him feel irritated, but he appeared calm as he continued, “The mission members will be Scotland, Gin, Yamawashi, perhaps others; you know what to do.”
Hiromitsu Morofushi stopped in his tracks. In truth, he didn't know exactly what "how to do it" meant regarding Yamawashi, just as he didn't know why Yamawashi was becoming increasingly insistent that he wasn't the real Scotland.
He knew clearly that this person would not waver for anything, but he would still feel shocked when facing him again.
Walking to the kitchen door, Yamawashi suddenly turned to look back. Hiromitsu Morofushi thought there might still be a chance for a turnaround and was about to speak, but then he saw Yamawashi's furrowed brow.
And also, you are not allowed to make that expression again.
Hiromitsu Morofushi was puzzled. "That kind of expression?"
Aotsuki said nothing and strode away.
Whenever he had to ask for help, Scotland would approach him with an expression of slight embarrassment and distress. Over time, seeing that expression appear on that face made him instinctively assume that the next second, Scotland would sit close to him, pause for a moment, then turn his head to say slowly:
“We haven't done it in a long time, have we?”
Author's Note:
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Chapter 7
Aotsuki stayed awake all night.
He used to view coming to this safe house as a reward for himself that couldn't be given too often, otherwise Scotland would be constantly on edge and unable to rest properly; nor could it be given too rarely, as once Scotland felt that his presence made little difference, it would easily lead to a breakup.
He had always carefully maintained a certain balance, making Scotland feel that being with him wasn't particularly detrimental, if he could occasionally be of use, it wouldn't be intolerable.
It didn't take even a minute to ask Scotland if he wanted to be together, but before Scotland came to find him, he stood in the wind watching the cigarette between his fingertips burn down time and time again. It wasn't until the sunset had spread its orange-red hues across the horizon and only one cigarette remained in the pack that he finally dialed Scotland's number.
He would never consider so much for a second person in his life; if he did, it would certainly be because he didn't know Scotland well enough to have thought more comprehensively.
He considered various scenarios, ranging from how Scotland might decisively refuse to help resolve that trouble without revealing himself, to how a breakup would have the least impact on Scotland if Scotland were to agree.
He had considered breaking up more times than Scotland had, so it wasn't that he couldn't accept parting ways, but rather that he couldn't accept ending things in such an absurd manner.
In the end, he thought: How did Scotland sleep last night?
Aotsuki stood by the window all night without realizing it. As the morning light broke, it stung his dry, strained eyes. The phone on the nightstand buzzed; even without looking, he knew it was an email containing a temporary task assignment.
This email must have been sent to Scotland's phone at the same time.
As he walked out of the bedroom, the person on the sofa was checking Scotland's phone; he probably hadn't slept well, as there were faint dark circles under his eyes, which, combined with his serious expression, added a touch of gloom to those clear blue eyes.
The sound of the door hinge turning was not prominent, but as soon as he opened the door, that person immediately looked up. Perhaps thinking of yesterday's conversation, he averted his gaze in a clumsy attempt to hide it, pretending to look at the clock on the wall instead.
After a while, perhaps only a few seconds, the person looked over again and asked, "Would you like some breakfast?"
This was similar to Scotland; he would not let others' words shake his resolve, even if what he believed was considered incorrect in the eyes of others.
Even though it was never explicitly stated, someone must have warned Scotland that being with Yamawashi might not be a good thing, that it would be better to part ways amicably as soon as possible.
If Scotland had hesitated for just a few seconds more that day, he would have rejected the proposal for a relationship outright and acted as if it had never been mentioned. But Scotland did not hesitate; his answer was calm and resolute, almost as if it were not a bad proposal to him, not an exploitation of a moment of vulnerability.
He would sometimes suddenly think of Scotland, but not as frequently as he was now; thinking too much would cause the true nature of this relationship to be constantly exposed, making it feel even more like burying one's head in the sand.
Perhaps it was because, following routine, it was once again time for his periodic return to the safe house to see Scotland, but he failed to see Scotland himself in the house he had gifted to Scotland.
He must find Scotland as quickly as possible and restore Scotland's peaceful life.
Hiromitsu Morofushi saw Yamawashi pause for a few seconds before ignoring him and walking away. Although he felt helpless, he was not discouraged; while it was true that the more he explained, the more suspicious he seemed, Yamawashi hadn't truly cast this "imposter" out.
After being reborn, his mindset seemed even more optimistic. Although he had more to shoulder, there was a world of difference between something being a bit tricky and something being completely beyond repair. If a more fulfilling conclusion could be achieved, then the troubles and hardships encountered along the way would merely be stepping stones toward a beautiful end.
He continued to examine that email; just as Yamawashi had said, this was a mission in which he, Yamawashi, Gin all appeared on the member list.
A mission.. that didn't exist three years ago.
In terms of content, it wasn't particularly difficult, but rather, there was a sense of incongruity; a mission of this level didn't require so many codenamed members to appear, which was inconsistent with the Organization's usual style.
Who arranged the mission list? Why did Yamawashi know about it in advance?
This question remained unanswered even after the mission officially began. Because from the moment that conversation ended, Yamawashi had not spoken another word to him, since Yamawashi was naturally very quiet, he didn't want to constantly disturb his peace by talking to himself. Besides, he had other matters to attend to and could not focus solely on Yamawashi.
"Is it really necessary to deploy such a lineup for a mission of this level?" one of the long-haired partners said, handing over a cigarette.
Hiromitsu Morofushi declined politely, smoothly withdrawing his gaze from his other mission partner, replied with a smile, "It's better to be safe; that way, there's someone to provide support if anything goes wrong."
Rye shrugged, noncommittal, leaning against the railing to smoke. The smoke drifted away with the wind, carrying the recent probe along with it.
This wasn't the first time Hiromitsu Morofushi had come here; he was even quite familiar with this area.
There are several small to medium-sized gangs gathered in this vicinity, frequently fighting each other for territory and occasionally joining forces only to suddenly betray one another. Beneath these organizations lie massive black market industries. Today's mission is to eliminate the leader of a certain gang that has come into conflict with the organization, serving as a warning to others.
The Metropolitan Police Department has a specialized unit for dealing with gangs, but he had never personally intervened in such matters. His memories of this place came from his first meeting with Yamawashi, from his later, much slower-paced return to this old haunt to reflect on Yamawashi after her death.
The first time I had contact with Yamawashi was during a mission involving the Black Organization; Yamawashi was extremely cold, acting as if she didn't know how to say anything other than "Mm."
The operation officially began. Hiding at a high vantage point as long-range support, he watched through the scope as Yamawashi effortlessly slit the target's throat with a dagger.
When the target fell, Yamawashi didn't even look back. The droplets of blood dripping from the tip of the blade merged with the spreading pool on the ground, circling back to its master. The killer kept his eyes lowered, while the surrounding gang members stared at him in terror, clutching various weapons—knives, guns, clubs—yet none dared to move.
The harvesting of life with cold weapons is a brutal sight, yet Yamawashi performed it with a sense of peace and tranquility. He once wondered if the illusion was caused by his distance preventing him from hearing the wails, but when his gaze fell upon the fallen target, the expression on the middle-aged man's scarred face was one of extreme composure, utterly inconsistent with his former self. He did not look like someone who had died, but rather like someone who had finally enjoyed a long-awaited, restful sleep.
The mission ended just like that, he was nothing more than a filler. Just as he was about to pack up his sniper rifle to regroup, the assassin, who was wiping a dagger with a curtain, suddenly looked up. He knew perfectly well that it was impossible to make eye contact from this distance, yet he was still momentarily dazed, mistakenly thinking that Yamawashi had cast a glance at him through the void.
During the evacuation, he drove the car like a mascot, while Yamawashi sat in the passenger seat, continuing to silently wipe his dagger. He felt he should say something, since he was indeed very interested in the intelligence regarding this character known as Yamawashi, he spoke a line that perfectly suited a conversation between a newcomer and a veteran: "Your knife skills are beautiful; if there is an opportunity, I would also like to show you how my marksmanship is."
Yamawashi glanced at him and spoke the only words she had uttered during the entire mission besides "Mm": "Your marksmanship is not bad."
He didn't even have a chance to fire his gun that day; the magazine was still full when he left. He never expected such performative mutual praise to come from someone like this. Yamawashi's status was much higher than his, it was impossible to tell that she could speak such superficial pleasantries; at first glance, it sounded completely genuine.
After that mission ended, while cleaning the car, he found a brooch under the passenger seat. After thinking it over, he realized only one person had sat in his car.
It was the second time they had met during a mission. After the mission ended, he called out to Yamawashi and returned the exquisite brooch to her.
Yamawashi took the brooch and looked at it, after confirming it was correct, she said "thank you" to him very politely.
Before he could even respond with pleasantries, Yamawashi said again, "It's not mine; I just picked it up on the road."
No matter how many times this memory is recalled, it inevitably becomes blurred with the passage of time; some details are diminished, while others are beautified. Perhaps Yamawashi's tone back then was even colder than he remembered, just as he now believes she is not from Scotland.
Hiromitsu Morofushi's gaze drifted silently to the other side again, he heard a light chuckle from Rye beside him.
"I'm just wondering how he and Gin ended up staying together." He found a reasonable explanation for his gaze.
Of course, me too." Rye held a cigarette between his fingers and gave a slight nod toward the two mission partners standing on the other side. "Based on this time interval, the wounds those two left on each other probably haven't even fully healed yet.
Rye even made a joke: "Maybe that's the truth behind why there are so many people in this mission; even if some people suddenly start fighting amongst themselves, there are still enough hands to complete the mission."
Hiromitsu Morofushi couldn't bring himself to laugh, but he was grateful that Rye didn't expose him, he considered that bit of teasing to be negligible.
However, he wasn't exactly brushing Rye off; he truly was puzzled as to how Gin and Yamawashi could be so harmonious.
He glanced again at the two people leaning side by side against the wall; both had their eyes closed to rest, showing no intention of speaking, nor any sign that they were about to come to blows.
Because they both didn't like to talk?
Hiromitsu Morofushi seriously considered whether Yamawashi would find him too talkative, because Yamawashi could truly remain completely silent in a safe house.
The workflow of this mission was even similar to that original mission.
Hiromitsu Morofushi and Rye held their sniper rifles, providing timely cover fire for the two in close combat.
Through the scope, he could finally look at Yamawashi openly.
["Scotland wouldn't look at me like that."]
Those indifferent words flashed through his mind in an instant.
["Let's never meet again."]
Another sentence, one he hadn't thought of in a long time, flashed through his mind.
The last person Yamawashi killed was himself. Having witnessed such a scene and undergone so many investigations only to return empty-handed, he had too many doubts and complex emotions regarding this person, whether in a professional or personal capacity, could no longer return to a state of calmly accepting special treatment.
The person beside him suddenly said, "You two must have had a fight."
Hiromitsu Morofushi snapped back to his senses, only then realizing that his scope wasn't aimed at the enemy, but was instead constantly tracking Yamawashi. He explained, "I had no intention of shooting him."
What are you thinking? The probability of Gin and Yamawashi having another fight is higher than the probability of you taking a shot at Yamawashi.
Rye let out a "haha" laugh, seemingly finding it quite amusing, but his hand did not shake in the slightest because of the laughter.
“I mean, you keep looking at Yamawashi today, yet he hasn't even spared you a glance.”
Hiromitsu Morofushi said nothing.
Through the scope, he saw Yamawashi once again efficiently take down his opponent—though they could hardly be called an opponent, as the other party was completely defenseless. Then, Yamawashi looked left and right, just as he had during their first mission, he wiped his dagger a few times with the curtain; when it wasn't clean, his brow furrowed even more deeply.
Yamawashi had an almost pathological obsession with cleaning that dagger; during every mission, he was either cleaning the dagger or on his way to cleaning it. He had wondered about the reason, suspecting the dagger might hold some special significance, but Yamawashi never minded handing the dagger to him for maintenance, nor did he mind him touching the dagger without permission.
After Yamawashi's death, the pitch-black dagger was first called his "trophy" among the Organization's members, later among his colleagues in the Public Security. Only he knew how complex his feelings toward that dagger truly were, until one day, he unexpectedly began to repeatedly wipe the dagger without reason, just as Yamawashi had done, as if finding a sense of inner peace through it.
Hiromitsu Morofushi pulled the trigger lightly; behind the assassin who was frowning while wiping the dagger, the person preparing a sneak attack fell to the ground with a thud.
Beautiful!" Rye praised without hesitation, then naturally picked up the previous topic. "In the past, Yamawashi always looked at you, but you never looked at him. Scotland, no matter how you look at it, I am someone with a lover, so I can guess a little.. It isn't easy to stir up someone as stagnant as Yamawashi, so I'm very curious, what exactly did you do to let him down?
As fellow undercover investigators, they could always understand each other better, making certain questions seem less offensive—not to mention that in the future, they would indeed be considered friends, which made certain words easier to say. Hiromitsu Morofushi picked up the spent shell casings from the ground one by one and said in a flat tone, "I have never, not once, felt that I had done anything wrong to anyone."
Even though he had, many times after the dust had settled, either voluntarily or forcibly thought of that figure, had frequently spent quiet late nights maintaining Yamawashi's most beloved dagger, when he defied science and returned to three years ago, seeing Yamawashi again, he held that warm body tightly, repeatedly confirming that it was indeed a living person and not a hallucination from a midnight dream, in that moment, he realized soberly and clearly that he still did not love this person, nor did he believe that he would ever truly fall in love with Yamawashi.