Holding that twisted pose, the man stared into his eyes and said, word by word, "If you don't want to, then put your dagger away."
Author's Note:
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Chapter 11
The world was terrifyingly quiet. The lamp hanging overhead radiated light tirelessly, casting a warm yellow glow into two pairs of differently colored pupils, reflecting two indifferent faces.
They stood in a stalemate, the blade pressed against the back of the neck, unyielding and reflecting no light, like a death warrant that no light could disturb.
Many people said it was a knife suited for killing; whether cutting or piercing, Yamawashi's daggers were the most exquisite weapons, just like that infallible dagger, they had never seen Yamawashi lose in close combat; the moment the magazine was emptied, Yamawashi himself was the final, indestructible bullet.
But the owner of the dagger was not as absolutely cold and sharp as the dagger itself, remaining indifferent to all life.
Yamawashi is someone who cannot be swayed by either soft or hard tactics. He spends most of his time on the fringes of the Organization, his presence is rarely seen except during missions. Even after moving into the same Safe House under the title of lover, Hiromitsu Morofushi still could not track Yamawashi's movements. This was one of the reasons he had always felt that his relationship with Yamawashi was incredibly fragile and that both parties were equally indifferent to the connection.
The most taciturn person in this Organization exists only within various rumors and gossip, watching everyone with cold indifference. He appears unmoved by everything, so much so that when one suddenly realizes this person actually cares about something, confusion is felt even before shock.
Yamawashi could die for Scotland; even at the moment of realizing that Scotland had been deceiving him, he would still die without hesitation to protect Scotland.
Breath was being stripped away bit by bit, consciousness began to blur. In a daze, Hiromitsu Morofushi inexplicably thought of that question again: what was Yamawashi thinking at the moment he learned he was an undercover agent? Did he hate him, just like those Organization members?
The flow of time was stretched infinitely, to the point where he couldn't even tell if the coldness pressing against the back of his neck had vanished because the dagger had been put away, or because his own body heat had transferred to the blade, making the icy threat no longer distinct.
The hands locking his arms loosened, the weight pressing against his back vanished, he suddenly felt light. Hiromitsu Morofushi coughed a few times, suppressed a gag, pushed himself up from the coffee table.
He picked up the dagger that had fallen by his side, instinctively wiping it with his sleeve, but after a moment of hesitation, he did not return the dagger to its original owner.
It's better to keep this in his hands for the time being.
Yamawashi, I have no ill will toward you.
The other person just looked at him coldly, the malice in his presence nearly overflowing.
This version of Yamawashi was far too different from the image of Yamawashi in his mind. After a moment, Hiromitsu Morofushi looked up and said seriously, "I have no ill will toward Scotland."
Upon mentioning that codename, Yamawashi immediately had a reaction.
Hiromitsu Morofushi was speechless.
“As you said, my true identity is Public Security Police.”
He never expected that one day he would say such words, especially to Yamawashi.
In the past, the person who discovered his identity before the incident fully unfolded was Yamawashi, after his rebirth, at a similar point in time, the person who asserted that he was an undercover agent was still Yamawashi.
After being exposed twice, Yamawashi's attitude toward him was completely different depending on the position he held.
If possible, he wouldn't have wanted to go this far, but Yamawashi was too stubborn and refused to change his mind once he had made up his mind. Continuing this standoff would only lead to negative consequences, so he had no choice but to resort to this desperate measure.
Where is Scotland?
This was not the first time Hiromitsu Morofushi had heard this question.
Yamawashi seemed not to care about anything. Why there were Public Security Police in the Organization, what their purpose was for infiltrating the Organization—every single detail seemed unimportant to Yamawashi; he only wanted to find Scotland, everything else was inconsequential.
I can tell you that Scotland is in a very safe place right now; as long as you don't act recklessly, he will be fine. If you don't cooperate with me, then the real Scotland will..
Hiromitsu Morofushi paused for a moment, not to apply psychological pressure, but because the statement was too strange; as the hostage, he himself was right here on the scene, yet the speaker was referring to himself as someone else.
“I will cooperate with you, as long as you can guarantee his safety.”
Since no guarantee arrived after a long delay, Aotsuki frowned: "What other requirements do you have?"
.. No, that's the only one for now," said the person who looked exactly like Scotland. "You agreed too decisively; it leaves me somewhat puzzled.
Aotsuki remained expressionless and said nothing.
That impostor, on the contrary, continued to speak to himself, looking utterly bewildered: "As far as I know, you've only been with.. that Scotland for half a year, you haven't met many times, your communication via calls and texts has been minimal. Given your ability and status, it wouldn't be difficult to simply find a new partner. Why go to such lengths for Scotland?"
This already involved his private interactions with Scotland.
Aotsuki's fingers tightened slightly; his palms were empty, only then did he remember that the dagger had been taken from him.
He took a deep breath. "Is this the result of interrogating Scotland?"
Don't worry, the Public Security Police will treat him well. I just don't understand—you don't seem to love him, he doesn't seem to love you either. You only live together because of interests, or is it that you're capable of going this far with anyone who is your lover?
Hiromitsu Morofushi's tone was so certain, as if there truly was an imprisoned member of the Organization; it was a lie, yet it was also laced with truth, for he was indeed constantly troubled by this.
The matters between him and me are none of your business to judge.
A familiar tone, a familiar answer. Yamawashi seemed to have fixed answers to certain questions, which perhaps also meant that what he said was the truth, free of lies.
Hiromitsu Morofushi believed there was no one more qualified than himself to define this relationship, but his view differed from Yamawashi's, which was a clear manifestation of the destined divergence between him and Yamawashi.
To him, this relationship was never a mistake, he had never once regretted being with Yamawashi. The helping hand extended when he needed it most, every shortcut laid out beneath his feet, the things Yamawashi casually provided were always exactly what he needed; therefore, this relationship was, of course, meaningful, profoundly so.
But he didn't see what benefit this would bring to Yamawashi.
If it was only for physical intimacy..
A flash of Yamawashi punching through a car window suddenly flickered before his eyes, vanishing in an instant. The scene he had witnessed with his own eyes felt like a slow-motion shot: the arc the blood traced through the air as it splashed, the lines of muscle as an arm swung upward, a face so calm it was devoid of all emotion, looking like exquisite porcelain amidst the shifting light and shadow.. It was a violence he had never seen before, yet it possessed an unbelievable beauty.
How could someone like Yamawashi lack a bed partner?
Is there anything you want to say to him?" Hiromitsu Morofushi heard himself say these words. "I can help you convey it.
Yamawashi's eyebrows twitched slightly, as if he were agonizing over something. Hiromitsu Morofushi thought this was a sign that he had something to say and felt inexplicably nervous, but in reality, Yamawashi quickly returned to his usual expressionless state and said, "No."
.. No?
"And don't tell him any of this, either," Yamawashi added.
Hiromitsu Morofushi's gaze followed the young man as he passed by his side: "If I were the real Scotland, hearing this would probably be quite touching. You've gone to such lengths for him; wouldn't it be better to let him know how much you appreciate him?"
In just a few short minutes, he was already able to skillfully say the name "the real Scotland."
Yamawashi turned to glance at him, said nothing, closed the balcony door.
He didn't understand Yamawashi, but he felt there was more sarcasm than anything else in that cold gaze.
Yes," he thought, "didn't I already know that?
Yamawashi didn't need anything from Scotland; he wanted nothing, not even Scotland's gratitude.
In this exchange of interests cloaked in ***, Yamawashi gained nothing; he was eroded bit by bit, losing everything, including his life. If he could do it all over again, he thought things would be different, but in the end, Yamawashi lost his principles and became a "traitor" like him, forced to walk on thin ice within the Organization.
The night was already deep.
Yamawashi's private life was both monotonous and regular. At ten-thirty in the evening, no matter what he was doing, he would immediately go to sleep. He liked reading; it was his only hobby that approached that of an ordinary person, but no matter how exciting the plot or how anticipated the ending, nothing could entice him to turn even a single additional page.
Hiromitsu Morofushi watched the young man leaning against the balcony smoking through the glass door, once again speechless.
He had almost forgotten that Yamawashi also smoked.
This was the second time he had seen Yamawashi smoking.
The late October evening breeze already carried a chill. The light from the streetlamp enveloped that figure, making it appear blurry and thin, just like the smoke curling up from a fingertip, as if the figure would be scattered by the wind in the next moment.
He had no other choice.
He didn't understand Yamawashi, in his attempt to control the unknown risks, he could only try to treat the symptoms, leaving everything vague. The only thing that was certain was that Yamawashi cared about Scotland, so this would be the first thing to be exploited.
After being reborn, Yamawashi met another Scotland, he also saw a Yamawashi he had never glimpsed before.
A Yamawashi who would not pretend to be indifferent in front of Scotland.
**
Hiromitsu Morofushi and Yamawashi entered into a true sense of living together, while simultaneously stepping outside of what is known as a romantic relationship.
After failing to convince Yamawashi that he had truly threatened Yamawashi's safety out of desperation for Scotland, the relationship remained tense, but with one headache-inducing problem gone, this most mysterious figure within the Organization also became much clearer.
To cooperate with his actions as a Public Security Police officer, Yamawashi had practically moved back into the Safe House and no longer vanished without a trace for several days at a time. At the same time, Yamawashi no longer sat quietly reading books on the sofa as before, nor did he accept any invitations to share a meal.
He suspected that Yamawashi didn't want to see him again and felt forced to return here, which was why Yamawashi always smoked alone on the balcony or sat doing nothing while gazing into the distance, only reluctantly agreeing to return indoors to be with him late at night.
Yamawashi's coldness was both familiar and strange; only when he helplessly said, "You don't want Scotland to.." would Yamawashi accept his friendliness.
In fact, it would be more accurate to call it an unavoidable compromise.
Hiromitsu Morofushi was unsure which side was the real Yamawashi, because his image was completely different in front of Scotland compared to his image in front of others.
Perhaps the current Yamawashi is the true Yamawashi, because if he put himself in someone else's shoes, the current Scotland, who even a single glance from him feels annoying, is actually the real Scotland.
Once again, Hiromitsu Morofushi pulled open the balcony door and closed it before the person standing at the railing could step away, offering a friendly smile.
"You're cleaning a dagger," Hiromitsu Morofushi remarked.
Saving Matsuda Jinpei, who would have died in the line of duty in early November, made his mood even more high-spirited than usual; it even surpassed the excitement of making contact with Ino Seigo ahead of schedule. He paced around the living room for a while, still unable to resist the urge to say a few words to Yamawashi.
Yamawashi did not respond, merely wiping the dagger in silence. Hiromitsu Morofushi had already grown used to this; he leaned his arm casually against the railing, gazing at the distant night view, while catching a glimpse of the person beside him in his peripheral vision.
The streetlights cast concentric circles of light. Yamawashi looked focused, much like how he used to look when curled up on the sofa reading, the rhythmic sound of pages being turned, still carrying the scent of ink, seemed to ring in his ears.
All regrets can be changed.
Whether it is Matsuda today or Yamawashi in the future, there is still time to change the past.
Hiromitsu Morofushi couldn't say whether Yamawashi's death would count as a regret for him, but he was certain that he absolutely did not want to see Yamawashi die in front of him a second time; whether for public or private reasons, it would be a heavy burden for him.
"Does this dagger have any special meaning?" Hiromitsu Morofushi continued the conversation.
Unexpectedly, Yamawashi actually looked up.
He thought that today was indeed a lucky day, that everything was developing in a positive direction.
Matsuda Jinpei, a detective from the Third Criminal Investigation Division of the Metropolitan Police Department's Criminal Investigation Department.
The smile on Hiromitsu Morofushi's face froze instantly.
The flat voice continued, "A week ago, he was still a Bomb Disposal Police officer; the reason he became a detective was to avenge a friend who died four years ago."
The silence of the night made his racing heartbeat even clearer. Hiromitsu Morofushi heard himself ask, ".. What did you do to him?"
Yamawashi looked down at the dagger in his hand and said nonchalantly, "Killed him."
Hiromitsu Morofushi's expression went blank in an instant, he opened his mouth slightly. ".. What did you say?"
“Why that expression? If you want to imitate Scotland, you should take it more seriously. He wouldn't make such a face at a policeman's death.”
Yamawashi casually opened his cigarette case: "If you have a weakness, you must be prepared to lose something. Showing a flaw means you are destined to be attacked; what I did to you is no different from what you did to me. Since you think I will accept this, then you must be able to accept it yourself, right?"